Deliora's Diary: The Understandings of a Misunderstood Monster
by XxDragonLegaciesxX
Summary: Once there was a furious, terrifying monster named Deloria. He was feared all throughout the land of Fiore... Until the day he was mistaken for a girl! Follow everyone's favorite demon/laughingstock as he (or is it she?) has trouble fitting in with humans! Rated T just in case!
1. Chapter 1

**Day One: **

Dear Diary,

You know what can really tick a monster off? Being mistaken for a GIRL. Ok, its not Dah-lor-ee-ah, it's Day-lee-or-ah. Seriously.

So I was just walking down the street, and this guy starts trying to hit on me! So I glare at him, and I said, "Dude! Like, find someone else to pick up! Preferably a girl next time!"

At Least that's what I thought I said. I think I accidently said, "ROOOOAR!"

And I may have accidently also caused a very small tornado. Oops. There goes his wig. He should really consider trying Bosely.

I eventually arrive at the E.V.I.L (Essential Vital Ingredients for Life) Supermarket and begin looking for what I came for. What did I come for? Well I was watching T.V. yesterday, and a commercial for a new brand of cereal came on.

"Are you tired of people laughing when they see you? Or do you feel like you're not scary enough? Well then here's your solution! Monster Munchies! The nutritious breakfast for any demon! Try them now! Side effects may include nausea, new limbs, 99 polka dots, and some other things that would probably scare you off if we warned you about them!"

Well that was enough to convince me. After all, if I get more terrifying, no one will mistake me for a girl!

So I walk/stomp through the aisles, and spot it on a shelf next to the Earth Quaker Oats, Fearios, and my personal favorite, Brute Loops.

"$7.99?!" I shake my head at the prices, accidently taking out some of the overhead lamps. Stupid inflation these days...

I grab the box and head over to the checkout counter to pay. The lady there smiles nervously and asks for my MonsterCard. I hand it over grudgingly. Don't you think that the I.D. photography people should at least count to three before taking your picture? I feel like they caught my bad side.

The woman rings me up, and asks,"S-so how are you doing today, ma'am?"

I just sigh. Do I really look that much like a girl?

The woman, or as her "Hi! My name is_!" employee tag says, Deborah, asks, " Paper or plastic?"

You see, I'm real big on recycling, you know? Giving back to the community and all that. And so I open my mouth to ask for paper when I accidently Godzilla-sneeze in her face. "RAAAACHOOO!"

The woman runs out the door screaming. Huh. Maybe I got some snot on her or something. Oh well. I leave some money on the counter and stomp out the door. Er... what's left of the door. I kinda smashed that when I was coming in.

When I get home, I tear open the box eagerly, and gulp it all down. Hmmm.. not bad. Pretty satisfying. But then I suddenly gasp, and stare at the empty carton.

" ROOOAR?!" ( Translates: "WHERE"S MY PRIZE?!" )

-Deliora

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**Well thats all for now! Hope you enjoyed!**

**Thanks for reading! Please review! ^^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 2:**

Today I learned to never trust a T.V. So I was watching my favorite show "So You Think You Can Scare" and it went to those annoying commercials. Then I heard:

"Come on down to The Blue Cow! We've got Hamburgers, Steak, Fillet Mignon, Roast Beef, Briskets! You name it, we got it! With our 5 star service you can never go wrong! COME ON DOWN!"

So of course I went. I didn't wanna cook anyway. So when I got down there the waiter made me wait for like forever to take me to my seat. So I was sitting on the waiting couch, and I watched a crap load of people go by. Finally after waiting forever, she came up to me and pointed out a sign.

**No Shirt No Shoes No Service**

So I went back home to try and find clothes and I ended up having to go buy clothes. Then I went back to The Blue Cow and got a table within the first the waiter brought out the Menu.

"What would you like today Ma'am?" THAT STUPID CEREAL FAILED ME! Well I don't feel like talking so I just pointed. First I pointed to the Brisket and the lady said no. I tried to order the ribs but got the same reply. I then tried roast but she shook her head.

"Ma'am we only have steak and hamburgers."

Well hamburgers are overrated, so I just tried for the steak. I looked at the price of the steak. Who wants to pay 63 dollars for steak! I gave it a try anyway. I pointed at it thinking I could get away without talking. Whenever I talk, things go south.

"How would you like your steak ma'am?"

"Well-done?"

Or at least that's what I thought I said but instead I probably said "RAAAAAAAAAAAAARE" because the waiter brought out a rare steak.

"Here is your Rare Steak Ma'am."

"I am not a lady! AND I ASKED FOR WELL DONE STEAK!" I yelled out in frustration. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I AM A GIRL? But apparently what they heard was "ROOOAR!" since the waiter ran out screaming for his life.

Well, guess there's no use sticking around here anymore. I'm going home.

- Deliora


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for not updating in forever! **

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Day 3, Dear Diary,

Today I woke up and found out that I had an appointment with Dr. Grandine. It was terrible. So when I go down to "Dr. Grandine's Office of Demon Drilling", the dentist comes out saying, "Is Ms. Daloriah here?"

"It's Mr. Deliora, and yes I am here."

"Hello, Mr. Deliora. Lets take a look at your canines? I heard something was hurting you?"

"Yes."

"Let's take a look shall we?"

"Well Ma'am,"

"I AM NOT A LADY!"

"Sorry Sir, well it looks as if you have a cavity, w-"

"WHHHHAAATTT? A CAVITY?"

"Yes Ma'am- Sorry, I mean sir. We are going to have to take out your tooth."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Please calm down sir! We are going to numb it so you won't feel a thing."

I sighed. Things like these can't be helped. Dr. Grandine began to work on my cavity completely forgetting about numbing my mouth.

GAH! THE PAIN!

"So what grade are you in now, Daloriah?"

" I'm an AHHHHHHHHHdult now woman!" I said wincing in pain.

" Oh I see, sorry honey." She smiled.

HOW CAN YOU SMILE?! YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE! DID YOU BECOME A DENTIST JUST TO CAUSE PEOPLE MISERY?!

"I'll be back hon." She said, walking away. I looked out the windows to see a small pond. It was kinda nice and relaxing ya know? She came back like 20 minutes later with more needles and pointy things. Great. MORE PAIN.

"Ah, looking at the pond? Did you see the turtles?"

Turtles? What turtles?! Does she really expect me to see turtles from this high up? What, does she think my eyes are binoculars?!

" , hang in there! We only have 5 more hours to go!"

WHAT?!

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Five very painful hours later, I was finally excused.

" You've been a very good girl Deloriah. Here, have a lollipop!"

Is she serious? So I can get another cavity and have to suffer through this again?! NO THANKS!

"Don't worry! It's sugar-free and packed with nutrition! I have carrot-flavored, kale-flavored, and my personal favorite, air-flavored!

Wow, how tempting. But I think I'll pass.

Before she could say anything else, I hightailed it out of there. Hopefully, I'll never have to go back. But probably that's just wishful thinking.

**- Deliora**

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**Review if you wish!**


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